It is vain, sir, to extenuate the matter.

Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace.

The war is actually begun!

The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethern are already in the field!

Why stand we here idle?

The war is already begun. And I am here. Feeling as though I'm standing idle.

This week there has been unrest in my city. Not in my home, but in the place on the other side of the world that captured my heart and my imagination.

And I am here.

What is that gentlemen wish? What would they have?

What am I waiting for? What is it that keeps me from seeking God's heart, furiously demanding in humble reverence that He reveals what He has for me? I am mendicant, yes. Having taken begging orders, I am dependent on the Providence of the Most High. If nothing else, these past few months have been a front row seat to the learning how to correctly answer, "who provides for your needs?"
And yet, I am also royalty. And therefore entitled to ask My Father how best to carry His Name. I am promised the resources of Heaven to aid me as I walk His path.
And yet, I wait, too afraid...

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?

Are these fleeting distractions, the momentary pleasures of entertainment and self-satisfaction worth this misery? Worth this feeling left behind?

Mendicant royalty though I am, I don't know how to devote myself.