Eugh

My mood is one that defies expression in coherent, English words.

It looks at the alphabet and growls, unintelligible.

It's all sound and fury, signifying nothing though. Growls, snaps and snarls to distract, to cover, and to protect what's beneath.

Questions, hurt, and impatience roil beneath the surface. A maelstrom of a cocktail, waiting, always waiting. Blessedly, they are not the same questions as they've been before. They've changed, grown and shifted along with the faultlines from the ever-long year.

Treasured in a bottle

It's only in the quiet moments that it makes itself known.

Only when the noise of the day finally stills.

And the ache escapes like the whisper of a sigh from the box it's been kept in, tightly chained and padlocked against escape.

Tears track silent prayers.

Inhale.

Exhale.

And on the out, more tears escape.

It's a quiet litany of confession and brokenness, need, ache and longing.

Above all longing.

And all too soon the moment passes, and everything is corralled back to the box. The chain is tightened and the lock replaced.

And so few are the wiser.

Looking

Looking for the right words this afternoon.
For now, let's leave it at "this song has been on repeat."

Jesus has overcome

...and the grave is overwhelmed.

We bear the light of the Son of Man, so there's nothing left to fear.

Bits of songs, sayings and verses run through my mind tonight.

Nothing so coherent as to form a complete idea. Even songs put on repeat slip, sliding back into the eddy of half-voiced thoughts that's taken up residence where a mind and heart should be.